Before you hit “send,” “post,” or upload, delete at least one sentence. This will make your message stronger, and you will now be in a position to get a quick(er) response.
Here are some other ideas for a stronger, focused message or request:
One point per email.
Look for repetition — saying basically the same thing twice.
What is the most important message you wish to convey? Delete almost everything else; save it for the next email.
Often for me, and for others, it’s simply a matter of deleting the first sentence, because the meat of the matter — the point that really grabs the viewer and truly lays out your message — is often found in the second sentence.
Original Email
Jenny,
It was wonderful to meet you at the Amazon Arts Association conference last week. Thanks for taking the time to chat!
I went through the UNAW composition faculty list as you suggested, but unfortunately did not recognize any names. The composition department's recital series is certainly thriving, and I would be happy to connect with any one of the faculty members to see if a collaboration could be possible. Please let me know if you have further suggestions for how to move forward, and thank you for your consideration again!
I hope you had safe travels back to HA, and that you have a great rest of your week.
All best,
Anthonie
Take 2 - one sentence+ deleted.
Jenny,
It was wonderful to meet you at the Amazon Arts Association conference last week. Thanks for taking the time to chat!
I went through the UNAW composition program faculty and events list as you suggested. The department's recital series is certainly thriving,
Are there one or two faculty members that you think I should contact first to see if a collaboration could be possible?
I appreciate your recommendation, and thank you again for your assistance.
All best,
Anthonie
Editing is strength.
Editing is creativity.
Editing more likely guarantees a quick(er) response.
